Why We Do It...
I can't speak for all comedians, but I think most would agree that no matter how much we love what we do, once in a while you lose sight of the intangibles that come with the territory. The perks, if you will. Sure, we get to see this country. We get to pay our bills (hopefully) by making people laugh. We get to be our own boss and provide a product that can affect people in countless ways. The people that we come in contact with for a matter of minutes can have a lasting effect on you, and you on them. A lot of comedians, myself included, met our spouses from doing comedy. Some have had children from doing comedy! (That old gag.)
One of the things we hear when we tell people we're comedians or talk to audience members after a show is, "I could never do what you do." People are in awe that we can just stand up in front of strangers, talk for an hour, and make them laugh (hopefully). But if you ask one of us, it's second nature at this point. We don't even think about it. "You just get used to it" we say. There is, however, one line of work that when I meet someone in it, I say, "I could never do that": the armed forces. I could never do that.
I cannot tell you the level of respect I have for the people who serve in our military. I've always wanted to travel overseas and entertain them (hopefully) as my friends who've done it say it's one of the most rewarding experiences of their lives. Whenever someone from our military wants to buy a CD after my show, I always give it to them. I dream that they'll be having a bad day out in the desert and somehow I can play a small role in helping them stay sane until they get back home. Delusions of grandeur, I know. But I also know that I am way more in awe of them, then they are of me.
I know a lot of comedians do the same thing. They donate CD's in bulk, do shows for the USO, and generally ask for nothing in return. You see, we know that they put their lives on the line, to let us do what we do. The Freedom of Speech is the primary foundation that all comedians build their career. And if someone is willing to die, to let people like us make a living from speaking our minds, the least we can do is give them a free CD.
The reason I am saying all of this is that I received an email last week that shook me. I am still at a point in my career that when someone emails me, it makes my whole day. I've gotten all kinds. I had a Harvard professor tell me I reminded him of Mark Twain. Wow. I've had someone from Montana (who didn't know the use of spellcheck) email me to say they didn't care for the way I portrayed their state. But this one...this one really got to me. And, with Aubrey's permission, I would like to share it with you:
"Hi Josh,
On The Run...
My Peeps:
I'm on the run. Literally.
My wife Jenny has taken a new position with Team Challenge. Team Challenge is a fund raising arm of the Crohn's & Colitis Foundation. The goal is to provide participants with a half marathon training program and the opportunity to run a half marathon, all while raising money for the charity. To help her get started on the right foot (see what I did there?), I've agreed to join the program and run the Vegas Rock-N-Roll Marathon in December. Yes, really.
Now if you know me, you know that my diet typically consists of fried foods and candy. I've been known to enjoy a cookie and ask, "What's for dessert?" Needless to say, I need a life change when it comes to my weight and eating habits. So to raise money for a great cause that affects a lot of people in this country, to get myself in better health/shape, to a makeover on my diet, and to help the Mrs...I'm on the run.
I need your help. I need donations to help me reach my goal. Any amount you can send would be fantastic. You will be helping find a cure for these horrible diseases, and showing faith in me to complete a goal I've had for a long time and have never been further from reaching than I am right now.
Here are two links:
To Donate To The Cause And Help Me Reach My Goal, Click This Link:
http://www.active.com/donate/lv10swohio/JoshSneed
To Learn More About Team Challenge, Find Out How You Can Participate, Or Learn More About & Colitis, Click This Link:
http://www.ccteamchallenge.org
That's right, you can run the race with me. You can sign up wherever you live and participate, and if you're in Cincinnati, you'll be training with me too. I promise to make it funny as long as I can breathe. And believe me, if I can start from scratch, anyone can. (True Confession: As I typed "from scratch" I immediately thought of biscuits. See why I need to do this?)
So I hope you'll help, I need it. I need encouragement, support, and money. Please send all three, especially the latter. Thanks in advance everyone!
A Poem: Sober Eyes
A lot of people know that I don't drink. I always had trouble explaining why I didn't drink, until I wrote a poem about it so that people wouldn't ask me after shows. Well, I've had a few requests lately from people who heard my "Sober Eyes" poem from my first CD on XM/Sirius satellite radio. Well folks, here it is:
“Sober Eyes”
by Josh Sneed
I sit here with my sober eyes,
And take all of this in.
A man just fell and pissed himself,
Wait….he’s back up again.
In a corner this man sits alone,
And talks to his shot of Jim Beam.
I can’t keep track of how many he’s had,
15 or 20 it’d seem.
One girl is dancing, and I’m afraid
Her mirror is telling her lies.
For her skirt is struggling to contain
Her telephone pole-like thighs.
The alcohol that she’s consumed
Has caused her eyes to glaze.
Her belt should be given overtime,
Or at the very least, a raise.
“Play me some Skynyrd!!”, she yelled at the band.
And he couldn’t believe what he heard.
This woman seemed to capture his soul
When she yelled, “Come on! Freebird!”
She sees him and smiles and pull him in close.
For a mate, this woman does seek.
And, if it weren’t for his big ol’ beer gut,
They’d be dancing cheek to cheek.
It’s closing time now, he gives her “the look”
She nods her head yes to the man.
They leave the bar, walk under the stars
Together, hand in hand.
And as I drove home I can’t help but think
As that trailer is rocking tonight,
What they’ll think of each other
When they’re sober and in the daylight.
But whatever happens, I’m just glad
That I am alcohol free.
Or else someone might be reading a poem
About that same woman, and me.